I was reminded of the unknown and at times scattered nature of the way life unfolds just a few weeks ago. As I started the year I remembered feeling so calm and at ease with the direction that life was taking me. In that perspective, I had heralded in a new age of trusting in my path and walking towards the perceived unknown without fear or anxiety. What I didn’t realise back then was, that yes there was a calm I was experiencing but it wasn’t in regard to an unknown path; my ease of mind was at a result of pre-conceived direction, even if that direction was open and somewhat vacant in nature.
I had unknowingly placed myself on a road that while somewhat unpaved in nature, still led in a certain set direction. It wasn’t a path that was open, but instead just hidden from initial view. I was subconsciously touting a level of mystery when I anticipated in the back of my mind that just beyond that horizon was an easy stroll to what would be a site of life success. Obviously when this turned out not to be the case, I felt utterly robbed of a false stability that had for so long been in place.
When I was a teenager, I wrote a poem entitled ‘Destination Unknown’ which I believed truly summed up my fervour for life and the uncharacteristic way that I perceived how I would live it. Somewhere between then and now this message has gotten lost, or at least somehow devastatingly tainted by adulthood. I came to a realisation just yesterday that although I proclaim that I am committed to an unknown path in life, I have unwittingly been kowtowing to someone else’s existence for all this time.
If I am to be true to those beautiful words of which I penned all those years ago, I would understand that my journey is truly my own. I would come to terms with its supremely unique nature and thereby understand the reason why it remains incomparable to any others.
Sx
I blog for Change. 