I’ve made no secret of the fact that I am a feminist, an intersectional feminist at that, whose life is dedicated to overthrowing the patriarchy. I can say this so proudly because I whole heartedly believe in equality, in justice and in ridding ourselves from restrictive gender binaries which inhibit our potential as human beings. As time has gone on and I have become more vocal and outspoken about the cause I have noticed the way that society in general has attempted to attack feminists through a method that’s linked to our basic humanity. The general jab or swipe that’s taken by people who disagree with us or take offence with our actions is that ‘well…you’re a shit feminist anyway’.
It’s made me think about feminism in general and why people tend to expect a level of perverted perfection within those of us who are vocal in our dedication to the cause. To be honest, we ourselves have also somehow been indoctrinated to expect that same level of ‘perfection’ from within us too. Thinking about this concept at a deeper level I wanted to unpack what it meant to be a ‘bad feminist’ and separate out the judgment that is placed on us from others, as well as the impossible standards that we set for ourselves.
The usual vitriol that comes our way is mainly based on a deep level of defensiveness and fear of feminism equating to a zero-sum power game. The crux of this is the usual, that we are feminazis aiming to emasculate men and make them our slaves and blah, blah, blah. It’s easy then for people who claim that they are ‘humanists’ who care about all people and spout ‘but not all men’, to hit us with a low blow and claim that we’re awful feminists anyway. That when we disagree with another woman we are betraying the cause and if we were real feminists we’d be lifting each other up. In some ways, as frustrating as it is to consistently hear this trope, it’s the easier battle to fight. At the heart of it, we don’t need to defend our dedication to others. What’s more difficult is the self judgment and questioning we place on ourselves as a result. I mean, if I get laser hair removal does that mean I’m betraying the cause?!
Traditionally within the feminist movement we have tended to think of a feminist as a certain kind of woman. Usually a white woman, of a certain socio-economic background and ‘class’. One that always supports and lifts up other women, again usually of that same mould. In the past, especially within the first and second waves of feminism this has been the case because of a lack of representation from women of different backgrounds. The intersection of culture, race, ethnicity, socio-economic background and disability has meant that some of us don’t have the luxury of adhering to all of the ideals around a first or second wave feminist manifesto.
As time has gone on and the feminist struggle has evolved, we have continued to lament ourselves in terms of measurement of our personal dedication towards the ‘traditional’ cause. But as time has gone on and culture and enlightenment has intertwined with the feminist movement, we’ve started to see intersection points which complicate our thinking. This is especially so for women of colour, those who identify as LGBTQI, women with indigenous backgrounds and women with disabilities.
For me, in the past, I have questioned whether or not I am a good feminist on so many occasions. I mean, I listen to rap music in which women are constantly referred to as ‘ho’s’, I’ve travelled to parts of the world where in order to ensure opportunities for women, I have not challenged the patriarchal status quo. I remember an incident on a plane in the sub-continent where a man who was supposed to sit next to me, but then as soon as he saw me asked me to swap seats so he wouldn’t have to sit next to a woman. On the face of all of these things, if I compared my dedication to the cause with a linear measurement, I’d be a pretty shit feminist. But this doesn’t provide details of the actuality of events. That if I were to openly challenge male elders in rural communities in certain parts of the world, I wouldn’t be able to access women and children and help them to empower themselves. That the reason why I didn’t challenge that man on that plane all those years ago, was because I was alone in a country that wasn’t my own and I therefore feared for my immediate safety in that moment.
The truth is, there are always practical circumstances that challenge our theoretical ideologies; and this is true for any ideology out there. As feminists, because of the level of defence we need to go into in order to justify the need for feminism, we’ve then tended to feel the weight of responsibility to live these values out in the ‘right way’. But there is no right way to live out our feminist values. This is deeply personal and affected by circumstance and the intersection of differing identities.
We have forgotten that our humanity by its very nature makes us imperfect. We slip up a lot and we make mistakes. This is the same in terms of our practice of feminism. We are constantly learning and the nuances of life will at times cause us obstacles. We don’t need to be perfect feminists, this concept does not exist and we need to stop holding ourselves comparable to this mould. As Roxane Gay once so articulately identified “I would rather be a bad feminist, than no feminist at all”.
I blog for Change. 