Adulting is hard.

Adulting is hard. I mean is there anything else to say?! When we were younger, people continued to sell us the dream that if you study hard, work hard and just focus all will just eventually fall into place. They tell us that one day you’ll meet the right person, marry them, buy a house and live happily ever after. But what they fail to tell you is that there will be endless trials and tribulations after that point and along the way. Because of this, most of us are ill prepared for what awaits us and this means that we lack the resilience to continue to toil when it gets hard, or to fight for something when we start to struggle or it begins to slip away from us.

None of this means that we aren’t strong enough to endure these things. But we seem to lack the patience or fortitude to accept the struggle and continue to toil thinking about the good times ahead. For myself personally, it’s difficult to look beyond the now and accept that a current version of my reality will be difficult but that this will mean a better tomorrow. I’ve been trying to dig deeper into this part of my psyche to attempt to unpack these elements. I suppose what this comes down to is control, or being very uncomfortable with a lack thereof. It also hints at needing something to be or occur in this very moment, absolutely right now; not into the future or even tomorrow. 

We all know that life is hard at present in Australia and across the world. The cost of living is rising rapidly with wages not growing fast enough to keep up. Mortgage repayments are skyrocketing and for so many of us that has meant that a serious struggle lies ahead. And again, for many of us, it will be the greatest struggle that we have ever faced. Thinking about all of this has made me reflect on what this endeavour would’ve looked like for my parents and for others in that generation. Those who were migrants, who came to a foreign country and in many instances couldn’t immediately find work. My parents worked multiple jobs in order to send me to a private school and on so many occasions struggled to keep the bank from repossessing our house. But they made it work somehow, without any complaints. 

For my generation it hits different somehow. There’s an entire thought process which focuses on lifestyle. The thought of sacrificing a social life, of not having meals out of making cuts in so many spaces outside of the home seems unconscionable. When I was younger I would press the fast forward button and imagine what my life would look like into the future and the one thing I always wanted was to live life to the fullest. To never turn down an opportunity. But that definitely didn’t prepare me for the periods in which living that life just isn’t an option. What if at certain stages of our lives, we just can’t afford those opportunities or we can’t financially justify taking them?

When I think through all the things we’re sold about adulthood before we reach adulthood, there have been so many falsities and ill truths which we’ve been spoon fed. No one tells you that once you make a choice you’ll never know if it’s the right one. No one tells you that life is not a fairy tale and that you will struggle whether or not you study hard, work hard and marry the ‘right’ person. We should be equipping young people with the understanding that life is a series of ups and downs but that these don’t define a life well lived. This comes down to periods of sacrifice, it comes down to building resilience; and it ultimately comes down to how we react to certain situations. The truth is that it won’t always be rosy, you won’t always be able to live life to the fullest; but that is okay, actually that’s just life itself.