What a start to 2024 it’s been. There have been some serious trials and tribulations that my husband and I have faced this year but the loss of my job has been particularly hard on me.
Looking back on this time, I remember feeling so many things all at once. I felt like not only had I lost my vocation but I lost my team and our legacy. For weeks and months afterwards I felt like I was mourning the loss of these things, and at the same time I was questioning every aspect of my leadership skills which had led me to that place.
In the months that have passed, I have recalled all those times that I was there for my staff. The times that I put myself out on a limb to assist, to have their backs and to fight for them and it makes me so sad to have embarked on all of this and yet to have been forced to leave on the circumstances which prevailed. I recall that on so many occasions during this time, my superiors questioned my approach and warned me that I should solely be a sounding board for my staff and nothing more. However, I always felt the importance of working alongside my staff, of being in the trenches with them. I felt strongly that as a leader, it was my role to support them by taking things off their plates when needed and taking on work myself in times when they were proverbially drowning.
Since I’ve been away from my prior employer and my previous role I’ve been reflecting on the type of leader that I want to be. I’ve been grappling with conforming and bending to the will of what others have told me I should be; whilst also identifying that my empathy and willingness to serve alongside is a trait which should not be overlooked. What I have realised is that the legacy I leave behind is one in which leading with my heart is at the centre of all that I do. I want to continue to lead with kindness and compassion and ensure that I move forward with a people centred approach which promotes a culture of empathy.
I’ve been doing a bit of research about this particular type of leadership and the truth is that this approach actually has many different advantages; contrary to what others have told me previously. There is endless amounts of research which suggests having a people centred approach to management and leadership can drive significant business results. By focusing on collectively addressing pain points and barriers with others, whilst troubleshooting together, a leader is able to understand their team members point of view. This inevitably leads to an increase in trust, open communication and promotes a sense of worth in team members. The simple act of active listening, and then doing something with that information to support a team member goes a very long way and shouldn’t be underestimated.
For me, I’ve tried my very best to adopt a learning mindset as a leader in order to build inherent trust. I’ve also understood the need to allow space for team members to try different things, innovate and even to leave room for them to fail in some instances; as long as they then learn and move forward. My entire approach to leadership has been to promote creative decision making, to nurture my team members and create the space for them to flourish.
I won’t lie, at times this comes at great detriment to my own mental health and I’ve had times where I’ve been on the precipice. But I understand now that I need to ensure that professional boundaries are built in order to protect myself and not burn out over time. My emotional intelligence, whilst a superpower, can feel like a curse at times when I haven’t practised an adequate amount of self care. I acknowledge that I certainly have things to work on in this space but I refuse to abandon my style of empathetic leadership because others have told me the approach is futile. I will not promote a selfish style of survival in order to climb up the professional ladder. Moving forward I will continue to operate with kindness, compassion and vulnerability whilst listening to my own needs and nurturing myself in order to be the best leader I can be.
I blog for Change. 