Wild & Free.

I remember the days when I used to be wild and free

where nothing and no one stopped me.

I remember when I was afflicted with no complex trauma

when the world was simply open to explore freely.

I remember the days when I used to sleep peacefully and deeply and without the fear of being woken up to something bad happening.

I remember the days when I wasn’t responsible for anything but my own being;

and I could be carefree and impulsive.

To be honest I don’t think I like the person I have become

not because I’m not kind or generous.

But because somewhere along the way I lost myself.

I lost the version of myself that lived life without fear.

I so desperately want to find that girl again.

I am constantly reminded by others who tell me;

You are the author of your own story.

They say that I am the captain of my own ship.

Then why do I feel like I’m living someone else’s life.

Nothing feels recognisable to me;

not even the person looking back in the mirror at me.