COVID-19 and Eating Disorders.

Mental Health by es.el.gee

Does anyone else feel like they’re living groundhog day each and every day? The confusion that the entire COVID 19 pandemic has thrust on us has gradually taken a toll on both our bodies and our minds. I’ve been open in the past about sharing my story of my battles with eating disorders, I am now and have been in recovery for some time but even within this I am still acutely aware of the heightened triggers which come with quarantine and self isolation. I wanted to compose and share this piece today to highlight that while we are struggling with the effects of what this pandemic means for our daily lives, there are others who are battling even harder.

These days most of everything seems like it’s out of our control. Whether or not we will contract a potentially deadly virus, whether we have or will lose our jobs because of the measures put in place to curb the spread. Whether we’ll be able to see our loved ones soon or be able to attempt recreational pursuits safely. The only thing which seems to be in our control at this time is our meals and what we consume. For some of us being at home all day, sometimes with very little to do, it becomes easy to fall into the trap of fixating on what we eat or don’t eat and when. For many who live alone and have struggled with eating disorders, or are still struggling, the lack of visibility to the outside world and therefore lack of accountability will probably mean that they are spiralling, but spirally silently. Behind closed doors, with a line of sight taken away, the freedom to embark on those binge and purge cycles are intense. The added lack of perspective and constant deep thinking and reflection that isolation equates with is one which is difficult to gain clarity from.

The triggers for those of us who have a history with eating disorders have always been emotional ones, feeling a loss of control, feeling scared or doubtful, being made to feel less than from engaging too much with social media in negative and harmful ways. All of these things are compounded heavily by COVID-19. In one sense we need to stay connected to enable us with the most up to date information to protect ourselves. But on the other hand, too much engagement leads to doubt, fear and comparisons of self which are not helpful. Being isolated also adds in the component of having less avenues for support and feeling a sense of detachment which can lead to a worsening of triggers.

In this current climate there is no escape from food at home and when there is, we need to still be thinking about it in order to ensure we are prepared for our next meals. The breakdown of regular routine is as mentally off-putting as it is physically troublesome. Instead of being able to separate oneself from the environment in which our eating disorder takes hold the most, we are instead trapped within it. I’ve learnt over time that setting a healthy routine which takes the focus off control and food is one of the first steps towards recovering from an eating disorder. The worst possible thing in recovery is to have ample amounts of time in which you can fixate on food; which is unfortunately where we find ourselves right now.

The most important thing to grasp in this uncertain time is that connection is still possible, and imperative at this point. You need to reach out if you are struggling, there is no guilt nor shame in that act. There are multiple online forums which are still operating as per normal during this pandemic, mental health helplines continue to run and the most important part of all of this is that friends, family and peers are able and willing to offer support by being a touchpoint. During this time it’s as important to be kind to ourselves as it is to support the ones we love. Make sure you check in on each other and remember that as difficult as it is for you right now, there is someone out there who is struggling even more. Let’s be there for each other.

Sx

Here are some links to online support forums and help lines:

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