It’s been a good 4 months since the beginning of this pandemic. In it’s early days there were feelings of apathy and a sensation that while this disease might be severe in nature, it was so far away from us that it did little to affect our thinking and planning for the rest of this year. Then March came round and everything quite literally went to shit. The effects of COVID-19 and how detrimental it’s been to our mental health and psyches has been obvious, the never ending fear of catching this contagion has had ripple effects on our thinking and behaviour at a greater level. The most obvious and perplexing example of this has been panic buying of toilet paper. I’m still trying to figure out how I explain the link between coronavirus and chronic diarrhea in which one needs to hoard 20 packs of loo paper so desperately to the next generation in the years and decades to come.
What hasn’t been spoken about as much is the void that has been left with a decline in human contact and interaction. What consequences have come about due to not being able reach out and touch your loved ones as we had done before of all of this hasn’t yet been explored. It’s made me realise how we have underestimated the power of a deep hug, of a reassuring touch, of the embrace of a dear friend. I’ve been feelings these things since we have been able to socialise more after the most recent round of restrictions were lifted. I’ve been able to catch up with friends, to see them face to face and have a debrief and a chat. But on most occasions I’ve walked away feeling like I missed something, as if that interaction was a little less comforting than it should have been, and therefore somewhat detached in nature.
The more I pondered on this hypothesis the more I began to realise that my experience felt cheapened in some way because the emotional connection associated with skin on skin interaction was missing. This crisis had robbed us of a part of our humanity which is so vital in keeping us alive, fulfilled and comforted and we often underplay this because of the wider and more tangible ramifications that we are facing. But this sense of loss is just as profound and we need to acknowledge that.
Up until yesterday I was wondering if it was just me but was assured that it was more far reaching when in a messaging thread conversation with a friend, as we checked in on each other, she identified that she was doing ok all things considered but stated so simply and honestly that “I miss hugs”. I remember thinking at the time that I wish I could convey how much that statement resonated with me. How deeply and achingly I felt that sentiment too and how difficult it was to reassure myself that one day, I would get to feel that comforting sensation again.
The truth is as human beings we actively seek that physical touch, that reassuring embrace from our loved ones, and sometimes from complete strangers. The inexplainable power of embrace has long been touted as having a wide array of positive physiological and psychological effects. Some of the pertinent include, reducing anxiety and fear, alleviating stress and creating a space for trust where we can feel comfortable in a vulnerability of connection. It’s therefore ironic that in times of such fear and trepidation that we cannot do the one thing that will bring us some comfort.
What I am certain of however, is that this will not last forever. That we will one day be able to find that solace in the arms of our friends and wider family once again. That humanity has endured much, but that we have always overcome; and we will again. Until the day we can physically embrace once again, much love and virtual hugs from me.
Sx
I blog for Change. 