So I write about patriarchy and misogyny quite a lot. My activism has meant that I have perhaps overlooked the fact that maybe these terms aren’t actually understood by all. Hence constantly referring to them within my writing, without placing them in context might be contrary to raising them at all. So, if you are interested and have a few minutes of your time to spare, I’d really like to try to contextualise and define what I mean when I speak about patriarchy.
The first thing to note is that patriarchy itself refers to a social system in which men hold primary power and predominate in roles of political leadership, moral authority and social privilege. It is the reason why a gender pay gap exists, why politics are over represented by men, why women are expected to take their husbands surnames when married, why women are supposed to project themselves as pure, asexual beings and why in most parts of the world women cannot own property.
If you believe in feminism, if you are committed to achieving equality then you have to understand that a redistribution of power needs to occur in which the structures that are in place which have benefitted one human being over the other need to be disrupted. You need to be committed to changing the status quo. The truth is that inequality exists because one section of the population finds themselves in positions of oppression and discrimination whilst the other holds power and influence. When you look at why that is, it comes down to unequal systems and structures that keep those not in power down.
When I speak openly about feminism and refer to patriarchy, I’m sometimes met by a level of discomfort in which someone will inadvertently respond with #notallmen. To be honest when I hear this it takes me to a place of frustration because whilst ‘not all men’ contribute directly to sexism, they have certainly benefitted of it and from it whether advertently or inadvertently throughout their lives. This is just simply by the nature of being born a man into this world.
The truth is if we are to see any kind of sustainable change when it comes to gender equality the power dynamics behind all of this need to be assessed, checked and called out. Power is not a zero sum game, but the pursuit of equality will mean that that a percentage of men’s grip on this across all walks of life needs to change in order to equate to something even slightly resembling equality.
Referring to patriarchy is not about blaming individual men, it’s not about demonising men. This anecdote is tiresome and portrays the pursuit of equality, which is what feminism is all about, into muddy and blurry lines. This isn’t about man hating, it’s about looking objectively at a system and identifying why one group of people are afforded with a different set of rights, opportunities and enabled with an influential element of judgment over another. It’s about understanding that if we are to be considered equal, we need to change the system; this is not a direct attack on men.
The entire idea that a woman doesn’t speak up about the concept of patriarchy and attributes gender inequality to anything but, is a typical ‘don’t bite the hand that feeds you’ gesture. The question here is why are men in the position to dictate this? Why are men in a position to tell a woman what she can and cannot do with her body? Why is reproductive healthcare not an unequivocal right extended to all women? It’s because we have a system of power which dictates that a man’s view, influence and collective moral authority is afforded more importance than a women’s right to take control of her own body.
All of this strengthens a component of entrenched misogyny that exists in our society which dictates that yes, a women can proclaim independence, but only if that means she doesn’t implicate men or imply that the power they hold is unequal. If she talks too much and points out the fractures in the system then she’s somehow gone over the red line. That she should be grateful that she can have a voice at all, that she should know her place. That she is man hater for pointing out glaringly obvious inequalities or labelled a feminazi for correctly identifying that the system needs to change. The effects of patriarchy have widened gender based inequalities and they’ve fueled gender based violence. The rigid gender roles that they dictate have somehow perversely made us believe that questioning the system or fighting against the status quo is some kind of radical attack on men. I assure it is not, it is simply a step towards an equality in which we all benefit from.
I blog for Change. 