For a while now I have been aware of the concept that life unfolds in distinct 7 year cycles throughout our existence. Its meaning has taken shape within my life in a more tangible way in recent times as I can clearly see patterns which have presented. Astrological lore points to the 7 year life cycle dictating that our personal growth unfolds over said 7 year periods. Where I currently sit in life, between years 35-42 represents expansion, philosophy, increased worldview and seeking greater meaning in general. This timeframe is well known for deep emotional transitions, new life stages and therefore shifting identities which come with it. There is a greater emphasis on a deepened and developed emotional intelligence which lends itself to better emotional regulation and ultimately a focus on emotional wellbeing.
For me all of this hits differently because it’s what I have been feeling for a while now. As if I am constantly searching for answers, for adventure, for more. I’m trying to unveil things to provide me clues as to what my purpose is within this existence and how I can actively fulfill it. What I care about these days is not external validation or what others may think of my journey. These days I am most hyperfixated on how I will view my own life during my last days. I want to make sure that I can look back and say that I honoured myself, my wishes and desires and prioritised adventure throughout it all. I am very aware of the shift in mentality and the restlessness that has come with it. As if something is pulling me out of my comfort zone and forcing me to seek more, to pave a different path and willing me to be braver and more adventurous.
If I reflect over the last 7 year cycle it takes me back to 2019. My life looked substantially different back then. I was single and living and working overseas. At that point in time I genuinely thought that my life trajectory would continue to take me on that path and that I wouldn’t ever return to Melbourne. Back then I dreamt big. I envisioned the art piece that my life would become which was full of bold, vibrant colours where I often intentionally coloured outside of the lines. During those times anything was possible and the ambition I had for my life was one which was full of adventure and no comfort in sight to be rested on. If I compare my thought patterns and expectations of life back then to how I have moved in life recently, it feels like night and day. In many ways I feel like I hadn’t seen or experienced that 2019 version of myself in a very long time.
This could be explained by a range of different factors. In Chinese Medicine the stage of a woman’s life between 35 and 41 represents the sixth seven year cycle which signifies having the inner wisdom and clarity of what you want out of life to shed what no longer serves you; and shifting the focus from others to oneself. This stage therefore focuses on nourishing spiritual and emotional well-being and resilience. I can honestly say that this resonates with where I am currently at in life where I have been thinking about how to ensure I honour myself. I have been working on setting intentional boundaries in which I can put myself first for once and not be that perennial doormat that everyone walks over or dumps all their emotional baggage on. For a long time I have prided myself on being a safe space for people. But this has ultimately meant that I have given too much of myself out in the process and been less willing to protect my inner peace. This period of my life feels like it is presenting me with the challenge of providing that safe space to myself as well as others. It’s pushing me to look within and hold space for healing myself properly. It’s asking me to give myself the same empathy that I so willingly fling around externally.
It’s strange but over the last few months, in many ways I feel like I have somewhat returned to that person in 2019. My life has come full circle and returned me to the spot I stood on before. The difference being that I’m a more mature, well rounded and ultimately more resilient person now because of the events of the last 7 years. It feels like I had to go on that side quest in order to ensure that I encountered trip ups and pitfalls, and built a strong resilience, to equip me for the ultimate road ahead which was always destined for me.
Within all of this I can identify that there’s something about the genuine healing that occurs in your late 30s that you really can’t deny. It all feels different now as if I’m not attempting to be anyone except who I am at my core. I’m not trying to run away from my problems or turn the volume completely down on those nagging inner voices. I simply sit with them when they are present, understanding that they have no power in my life or over my being in the first place. They seem to come up less often now or maybe I just don’t hear them in the way I used to because I no longer believe what they are saying to be true. When they do emerge, I simply acknowledge their presence, understand that they longer serve me and move forward. Now I feel ready and committed to doing the work on myself, understanding that this will be a lifelong pursuit. I acknowledge that there is no other way to address any of it except facing it all head on. I no longer feel scared. There’s a sense of honesty and peace that lies just below the surface which tends to put my soul at ease. In days gone by the possibilities were endless, but maybe they still are; and maybe that’s exactly the point.
I blog for Change. 