If one thing were true in life it’s that suffering is the predominant precursor of the human experience. In Buddhism the concept of Dukkha is one which indicates that suffering is not a punishment but rather a fundamental and therefore inescapable baseline for us as human beings. It asserts that instead of this concept being viewed in a negative or pessimistic manner, it is simply fundamentally a clear eyed vision and diagnosis of the human condition. Upon considering this it feels like the knee jerk reaction would be towards a darkness which lends itself to a bleakness that threatens to blanket us entirely. But in truth, accepting this allows us to understand and experience life in a different, more open and vulnerable way. It makes it more precious knowing that the moments of joy may be fleeting and far between, but they should be enjoyed and celebrated even more because of their rarity.
It’s an interesting concept to understand that in spite of us experiencing these things again and again, we still put all of our effort into trying to avoid heartache, trauma and loss. Instead of embracing these things as inevitable parts of the human condition. For some reason we as humans tend to want to hold onto something, to all things forever. Ultimately gripping onto them too tightly and therefore tainting their entire existence in the first place. As if for some reason we can’t possibly fathom that nothing actually lasts forever; and that in trying to prolong its existence we are stripping something of its innate beauty, of its profoundness altogether. But surely something that is magical that lasts for but a moment, remains magical still in spite of it long being past. Surely this shouldn’t mean that we don’t then give it our all. Or only lean in halfway because we know said experience is only a moment in time or has a finite expiration date.
For the sheer impermanence of life is what makes each fleeting moment precious and to be treasured. Knowing that a moment in time won’t last forever lends itself to a level of depth of emotion and feeling that should be acknowledged and experienced fully, without being tethered to ‘forever’. It means that we should not grieve the loss of things when they end. Instead we should remember the feeling we had when we experienced them and cherish them for what they were. Fleeting, limited, bound by a simple instant in time but powerful and meaningful nonetheless. We should never look back and regret not giving it our all, or having deliberately held back because of the fear of the pain of mourning its loss ahead of time. There’s an element of letting go which should be as beautiful as leaning in. For it signifies our willingness to experience life, instead of perennially trying to control it. This doesn’t mean that we stop feeling or loving or caring in that moment, it just means that we allow life to flow, to unfold, as it was always destined to.
At times we are so resistant to the possibility of loss or so comfortable in grasping onto something so tightly that we can’t see that we were never meant to hold onto it forever in the first place. We are terrified of simply being in that finite moment thinking too far ahead of how much the loss of it will affect us. But isn’t that a limiting way of experiencing this life in the first place? Does that protection not limit our ability to truly feel, and live and love with our entire beings. For is that not what the human experience is about? Understanding that nothing lasts forever, but taking leaps of faith anyway; loving with our entire hearts in spite of this. Surely part of this is acknowledging that nothing is a given but we are lucky to even experience fleeting moments of joy, love, elation and everything in between at all. Accepting that we will only have many of these things for short periods of time. But allowing ourselves to live them fully in spite of their impending losses. For this is what makes life of value to begin with; knowing that some things won’t last forever because they were never meant to. This does not mean that they are any less poignant or life changing or valuable. Their impermanence is what makes them so powerful in the first place and this should be honoured and treasured; instead of mourned well before their demise.
I blog for Change. 